As many of you have noticed, my blog has laid quietly unused for the past six months. Early in December I had made the decision to stop blogging, but with the busy-ness of the Holidays, the start of a new job in the New Year, and training for a backpacking trip on the Appalachian Trail, I found myself procrastinating writing my final farewell. In some ways I suppose, I didn't want to say goodbye and go through all the steps to shut down the blog.
For a long time, I had been contemplating the direction that my blog was taking and weighing the pros and cons of continuing blogging. It was not at all an easy decision--not only have I invested much time and energy into blogging, but I've also emotionally invested and connected with the wonderful people I met along the way. That is why I'm oh-so-sad that this three-year adventure is coming to an end.
When I first entered the blogosphere three years ago, I barely knew what a blog was--let alone the challenges and joys that would come along with it. Over the years my email inbox has been flooded with more emails than I could ever hope to answer. I've been yelled at, encouraged, proposed to, threatened, asked for advice--you name it, I've received an email about it! If there's one thing I would tell a person newly interested in blogging, it's that you have no idea how much goes on behind the scenes! I could've never imagined the half of it when I set out to start this blog.
But by now, you are probably wondering about the reasoning behind my departure. Maybe some of you feel a little sad or angry (as I have when my favorite bloggers stopped blogging).
The fact is that there are many reasons. Some of the more minor ones include the amount of time it takes to run a blog, and a growing disappointment over the way that people act online. As far as time is concerned, anyone who blogs knows that it tends to take up more and more of your time! I didn't want to head down the road of blogging pulling time away from my family and real life relationships.
Secondly, I became discouraged with the general "aura" of the internet. I know that sounds like a funny way to put it, but what I am talking about is all the polarized arguing that takes place... you don't have to go far to see people bickering and saying things that they wouldn't say to a person in real life, whether it's on a Yahoo article or a Youtube video. I dealt with this constantly in moderating comments on my blog, and it was disheartening. Don't get me wrong, I don't claim to be immune to it either. It is amazing how much easier it becomes to type something rather than to say it! However, I want to be careful, and in doing so I found myself spending less time on the internet in general.
But apart from these issues, my main reason in leaving the blogosphere behind was a concern about how my blog was becoming more popular and heavily read by people who know me in real life. Though this is not a bad thing in and of itself, it does act as a certain sort of censorship. Let me explain...
Most of the people that I know in real life are not of the same mindset as I am (I do live in LA after all!). As time went on, I had to ask myself if my blog could be a hindrance to my real life relationships, and have come to the conclusion that the answer is yes.
I am of the thinking that my opinion should not be given to someone I know in real life unless they have asked, or unless I have the level of relationship with them where such things can be discussed. But here on my blog, people had an open window into my opinions on controversial subjects like birth control, homeschooling, and feminism--things I would have never brought up with them unless they had asked. It would be easy to see how an acquaintance could visit my blog and come away believing I'm judging them for a host of things--using birth control, not homeschooling, wearing pants (silly--because I wear pants!), you name it!
This in turn could serve as a turn off to people who've barely gotten a chance to know me and give them the false impression that they know exactly where I stand when they've never had a real life conversation with me on a topic. Though I do have strongly held convictions and opinions, I do not despise or look down on people who do not wholly conform with them. I realize that there are many reasons people make the choices they make and that people are a work in progress. Just because I see the world one way doesn't mean that I expect everyone to see it that way too.
When I meet people who are different from me, I don't assume that we can't be friends or that I need to avoid them. I have an insatiable curiosity and I love hearing different points of view and learning from them. I don't want people on the fringes to stay there because they read my blog and think they know all there is to know.
I see now that I made a mistake when I let there be a connection between my blog and real life. As my real life readership increased, slowly but surely I moved away from posting on the controversial subjects that were the foundation of my blog. Then, I found myself having to be careful about using real life experiences and censoring my posts lest someone think it was about them!
As I moved away from more "meatier" subjects, I filled my blog with more of the safer topics, like homemaking and fashion. While these are interests of mine, they are not the real reason I started this blog. It was never my goal to be a fashion blogger. While I know that many of you have enjoyed this aspect of the blog, the truth is that I simply don't have enough passion for it to carry on an entire blog for the sake of it.
The passion with which I started this blog was for dealing with difficult subjects like feminism, theology, birth control, and homeschooling. However, I now know something that I'd wish I'd known on the cusp of starting my blog: if one wants to deal with difficult subjects, anonymity is key for everyone's sake.
I am quite certain that if I had kept the blog anonymous, I would still be blogging today. Yes, even despite the other issues that have arisen on this adventure!
Rest assured that my departure from the blogosphere is not because I'm rethinking my convictions as some have worried. I am still ardently passionate about homeschooling, theology, natural birth, courtship, and defending Godly femininity and family. The only change is that I just won't be sharing about it here anymore!
But in leaving my readers, I hope I can at least point you to some other wonderful blogs that have similar content to my own:
Between the Lines
Raising Arrows
To Love, Honor, and Vacuum
Ladies Against Feminism
Feelin' Feminine
Graceful Little Honey Bee
Wingin' It
Corner of Joy
Full of Grace, Seasoned With Salt
Large Family Mothering
Rural Revolution
Mandy Mom
Blessings of the Breast and Womb
To those of you on the TrueFemininity Blogroll, let me know in the comments if you would like for me to continue hosting it. I've done a terrible job of adding new members the past months, but I am willing to still administer it behind the scenes if there is enough interest.
For those of you interested in articles I've written, please email me. I will be giving these out on a discretionary basis.
And finally, to everyone I met along the way, thank you!